I wrote this article for the Rhythm page of the Celebrate the Rhythm of Life with Children Homeschool - Homemaking Curriculum/Interactive Program test run. Because it has been viewed more than any other page on that site, and because rhythm is such a important and fundamental element of early childhood, I am sharing it with you here.
Rhythm is life! Rhythm is strength! Rhythm can carry you.
We often hear these words but what matters most.... is our relationship to rhythm.
If we tend toward the precise and exact and well, maybe rigid, then we might need to loosen up and have more fun, be more fluid, go with the flow, laugh more and get the children to laugh too.
If we tend toward the loose with little structure to our day or week, we might find that the day has slipped by and we have not had lunch or fed the dog or thought about dinner and we're out of milk and no time for breathing into the fun. We might need to tighten up our self discipline, set tiny goals for the day and meet them.
Rhythm is really about balance, finding our own, finding our way to breathe through the day, to be calm and present and bring attentive awareness to our lives with children. Rhythm is flow, a feeling that we are moving in and out energetically with the needs of the day. Rhythm is finding rest and a time for pulling back in after having been out in stimulating activity.
We begin to find our rhythm by taking baby steps, one at a time. What is the structure of our life right now? Do we go to bed around the same time? Do our children? Do we rise around the same time every day? Do we have regular meal times? Do we set a pretty table?
It's helpful to let go of trying to make many changes at once, we might try for one small change, maybe rising first or dinner by five or bedtime by seven.
When we are running from behind, always trying to catch up, we find ourselves breathless and not in the moment. When we are too focused on the schedule and on what is coming next, we are unable to relax and be in the moment.
Finding a rhythm that flows is key to spending time in the company of children, for children thrive on a rhythmic and predictable life and a strong rhythm can carry us all through the years with breathing time and time for grace.
For those of us who work with young children in Waldorf nursery and kindergartens, and at home as our child's first Waldorf teacher, we have a rhythm of the day, a rhythm of the week, and, a rhythm of the year.
The Rhythm of the Day is anchored in four basic activities each day for health and well being.
Every day, every child needs these elements to develop and thrive as a human being, along with a strong relationship with a warm, loving adult and protection from too much stimulation and the adult world.
By warm loving, I do not mean sentimental and gushing, I mean present, one who sees, hears and feels the child and responds accordingly.
Once we master the flow of these, we have a solid foundation for our children's early years. They are:
1. Eating
2. Sleeping
3. Free play
4. Fresh air
Consider additional activities, such as circle, storytelling, cooking, baking, painting, craft making to be transitions between theses anchors with the basic four taking precedence over all other activity. Cooking and baking help satisfy the eating need, so you might start with those activities.
Circle, painting and craft making can wait until children are five years old, it is in the kindergarten traditionally that children first had some of these experiences.
We need to ask ourselves if we want these activities for ourselves or for our children. If the answer is for ourselves, then consider how and where they might fit and respect the child's need for time and space and play.
If your child is four or older and you have time and space in your life for crafts, circle and painting by all means do them, just not to the detriment of eating, sleeping, playing and being outdoors and most importantly, not if it gets in the way of your sanity.
If you are a child care provider and have parents clamoring for activities and projects to take home, think about what the child needs to grow into a healthy human being and find ways to convey what is needed for healthy development to the parents with articles, parent nights and laying it all out in your literature and your interview.
Free child initiated play is fundamental for healthy growth. Eugene Schwartz has a great article on play, From Playing to Thinking, in the kindergarten as the basis for scientific learning later on. It is the child's ability to take time to do small tasks in the early years, like putting on their boots, tying their shoes, wrapping a gift, collecting an egg from the henhouse, so carefully reaching in, that lay the foundation for math later on.
The rhythm of the week is each day of the week and what occurs on that day. We have a homemaking task for each day, a grain for each day's menu based on Rudolf Steiner's work on nutrition and an activity for the child for each day.
The example below is a rhythm that has worked for me, with my own children and with the nursery program group of mixed age children. I have shifted it over the years to accommodate morning naps, mid day naps and noontime pick up. I find it flows best when it is consistent with the fewest transitions and just enough time with each activating to be satisfying yet not get in the way of play which is the real work of childhood.
What really fosters play in young children is an adult nearby engaged in productive work with tangible results, results you can see, sweeping, shoveling, folding, ironing. The computer and telephone do not do it for children.
They need to see us engaged in work and when they see us grapple with something, with mending or sewing or repairing a door frame, it brings a gift to them, that humans sometimes have to grapple in life for that is what growing can be grappling for children. They need to see us do it and persevere and succeed in our endeavors, even when they are hard. This helps grow children who will strive and get through the hard parts of life.
An example of activities for the child:
Monday ~ Visit farm or go for a nature walk, make soup stock
Tuesday ~ Make Soup
Wednesday ~ Coloring/Seasonal nature craft day
Thursday~ Baking day
Friday ~ Painting day
The key to the Rhythm of the Day is to wake up before the children and
- Get Dressed
- Start the laundry
- Think about dinner/organize it
- Have mother time before the children rise ~ coffee, tea, meditation, yoga, reading, walk, whatever it is that helps you orient yourself for the day
What is your relationship to rhythm? Does it come naturally? Do you have to work at it? What helps it? What gets in the way? Did you have a rhythmic childhood?
What does your rhythm look like? Where are your challenges? How do you move through the transitions? How does it differ in Autumn?
I love to see your comments and feel free to link to your rhythm below in the comment box.
I love to see your comments and feel free to link to your rhythm below in the comment box.
Lisa, Thank you so much for sharing this. We struggled with Rhythm for a while when my husband changed jobs and his crazy hours still through us for a loop at times, but having that rhythm instilled in the girls and myself really helps to get back on track after a crazy time.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Elizabeth
Beautiful. Blessings, Chandi
ReplyDeleteGreat post Lisa, thank you. I've just recently found your blog, it's great! Although not getting up before my 18 month old has happened as yet... it's good to THINK about it!! Hopefully one day I will get there!
ReplyDeleteThanks Motherwho. For me it can out of desperation, a dire need for solitary time. Some of us can recharge with others and actually prefer to, so there is no one way. Enjoy your sleep, that too is crucial!
DeleteThis is a great post as rhythm has been on my mind a lot lately. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with rythm and loved this post so much. I am just starting out Waldorf Living with my 3 and 4 year old boys. We are military and have so much confusion all the time that life at home just follows suit. It doesn't have to be that way and I am working hard to get our home to feel warm, spiritual, rythmic. Thank you for all that you do.
ReplyDeleteYes it is hard with confusion. We spent six years abroad moving from island to island and what seemed to help keep a sense of rhythm for my son were the rituals and repetitive elements to our days, our bedtime ritual of dinner, quiet play, story, bed and mealtime ritual of setting the table, finding flowers to put on it, the call to the table, lighting the candle, holding hands, singing our blessing and again at the end making closure through ritual at the table. These small things can bring strength to the child and to family life when they are regular and dependable. Blessings on your journey!
ReplyDeletei read so many great things about rhythm and yurn to have a rhythm going but iam so challenged in this area. Ive been a postpartum night doula for about 7yrs and now my son will be 5 in may.. I feel like the time has just slipped by and im losing my mind not having a way to flow. I recently quit my job because i really need to step back and look at what i am creating. Broken family home.. no school in place.. and no rhythm ..as i so dream of creating for my son. We are very loving parents trying to figure out what our next step in life is. Im really looking for a waldorf community or place to move to to learn more and just jump into waldorf. I feel like it is the jewel for us at the moment. oh rhythm where art thou?
ReplyDeleteHi thanks for a great article the example of a week was particularly helpful, we are just trying to establish a rhythm at the moment, from watching my lively two tear old and the difficulties he is having at the moment Ive realised he needs simplification, a basic rhythm, less going on but more meaningful rings like meal rituals etc. I know to help him be calmer he needs breathing in and breathing out times. Can you help me know what a day might look like? Gillian x
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Gillian. My monthly program helps bring daily, weekly and seasonal rhythms in a warm, playful and loving environment. February's focus topic is Rhythm and we will get into the daily and weekly rhythms. http://www.celebratetherhythmoflife.com/p/monthly-program.html
DeleteAnd you'll find the whole day here...http://www.celebratetherhythmoflife.com/2012/01/basic-elements-of-daily-living-with.html
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